Hospital Diary

January 31, 1993 (Sunday)

I was feeling good in the morning, so I went up to the roof into the sunlight and thought about nothing. It’s been so long and the fresh air felt good. I spread my hands out under the warm sunlight and had some emotional photosynthesis!

Feeling totally refreshed, I came back to my room and the nurses were looking for me, since I had gone missing during the time to sterilize my wounds. I’m sorry!!!

My stomach was hurting from then drawing on the tube. It’s a dull, throbbing pain.

I went back to my room and drifted off into a light sleep and then my mother came. We opened up a huge box which had arrived a little earlier, and out came a giant doggy stuffed animal. It was a get-well present from the staff of “Tsuyoshi Shikkari Shinasai!” This is just… too amazing.

I was forcefully woken up and ate lunch, but I could only eat half of it. To all you farmers out there, I’m really sorry. My stomach hurt so bad, I was groaning. Gaaaaaah~

They told me that nothing bad was found in my extracted ovary, which made me feel better.

Keiichi and his parents came by to visit. Even though they came all the way to visit me, unfortunately I was in a bad mood, probably due to the pain in my stomach.

Just talking about the wedding and our new home left me feeling fed up with it all.

Even if I’m released from the hospital at the time, there’s still no way I can go bridal fairs at wedding halls!

For some reason, the idea of “marriage” itself is just a real hassle. I really just want to call it all off.

I’m clearly not my normal self right now. I know that that’s why I’m thinking this way.

When it’s just the two of us, I push my bad mood onto Keiichi.

I know it makes me a really awful woman, but I’m just seething for some reason.

Why didn’t you call me? Why are you getting ready to go to America all by yourself while I’m here, like this?

I wouldn’t look him in the eye. He was trying to be nice and comfort me, but I brushed it off and said “I’ll do it myself.”

After everyone went home, I cried by myself.

I hugged the giant doggy close and cried.