Hospital Diary

January 26, 1993 (Tuesday)

It’s my mother’s birthday today. I’m really, really sorry about all this. It’s a pretty pathetic ‘happy birthday.’ I can’t do anything for her, and I just feel awful.

Flower baskets from Nobita (from TV Asahi) and Shimizu and Kaneda (from Fuji TV) arrived. On Nobita’s card, he wrote: “You are the only Usagi there is.” I was really touched.

The Fuji card said: “Hang in there Kotono!” Hahaha…

I had another strange dream. I was in the studio, but there wasn’t anything for me to do. I tried to put on a smile and reluctantly dragged my feet and headed for home, hoping someone would stop me. No one noticed, and I felt uneasy.

It was absolutely terrifying!

Speaking of which, my mother had said something kinda strange. “They’re checking if what they removed was benign or malignant,” she said. There are benign and malignant types? What happened if it was malignant? Is it too late, or will it spread elsewhere?

My thoughts started to get darker and darker.

This is an awful thing to do to my parents.

But! We still don’t know and I’m sure it’s fine anyway. Yep!

If you have a dark attitude, it’ll take longer to recover you know.

There’s still so much I want to do. It’ll be fine. It has to be fine.

I have two small and three large IVs. The needles hurt so bad.

Thanks to my mother, I was able to wash my face. I changed my yukata and socks and felt like I had come back from the dead.

Speaking of, Keiichi hadn’t called me at all. I wonder why… I thought that he’d come visit me every day, but maybe it’s just too far? But why didn’t he even call?

I called my home after 10pm, since private rooms have phones in them. My mother picked up and said that no one had gotten home yet. Men, I tell ya… hopeless.

I gave Keiichi a call too, but what I found out left me surprised.

He was doing far better than I had thought. “I figured you’d give me a call if something happened,” he said.

He said he’d come visit on Thursday, but I hope I can wash my hair by then.

I want to clear my head.